The Cost of Change

I applied for a job yesterday. A paying job.

There have been many jobs I have considered applying for; many jobs that I have written unsent cover letters; but, this is the first I have followed-through with.   The last time I did this was right after we moved here, and I was called to interview, twice, but it became clear, I’m sure to both the interviewer as well as myself, that I wasn’t ready. I had a baby in my hands. I was looking to restart quickly what I had left behind before I moved.

This is different. I’ve been doing this stay-at-home-mom gig for six years now.  I have a better sense of what I’d be giving up.   And what I’d hope to gain.

I’m a little anxious about the notion I might be called.  Or not.  Anxious either way.  I already told the kids.  Just planting a seed about how life might change for them.

I’m a little bit unwilling to consider how my life might change.  I think it would be crazier, a bit frazzled, but maybe even a bit more efficient.  I work well with time constraints.

There would be some things I’d miss.

Even if this doesn’t proceed past my action of writing the cover letter, tweaking the resume and pondering the future, it’s a good step. So far, it feels good.

Time will tell what might be the cost of change.

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