So I figured out what my search for work is all about. It’s funny how these things manifest themselves. I didn’t get a call back on the job I applied for. From a friend of an employee, I heard that my resume was actually “noticed” and was impressive. Nonetheless, the sheer volume of applicants seems to have worked against me. As I say, it’s ok. It was my first attempt and if I’d gotten a job offer out of it so easily, I’d wonder if I’d sold myself short.
In the time between sending a resume and hearing back, I pondered not only how the logistics of my life might change, but also what a work environment might might represent for me. During this time a couple of other interesting things happened.
First, I heard from an old colleague. She no longer works for our old company. She said she missed me and I her. I realized how much my old work life meant to me; how I loved working with a group of really smart, really dedicated people who all seemed to “get” each other.
Secondly, I found myself on the outskirts of the core social circle of parents at the elementary school. It sounds so adolescent to even say, but at a school with no busing, the parents tend to congregate outside the school waiting for their kids to get out; I think I’ve always been on the fringe of the in-crowd. I mean Always. Not just for the past four years, but going back to at least middle school. So, it’s not an uncomfortable place. What got me was the sting of realizing that I had been hoping to be more “in”. And why do I care? Am I so insecure of who I am? No, it’s because after six years living in this new place in a new lifestyle, I’m still looking for a community of people who “get me”.
And that, I realize, is a big part of wanting to work again. I miss being surrounded by dedicated, driven, smart, funny people who “get me”. My people. I also miss working hard and getting paid for it; in case any prospective employers read my blog, I am also looking to make money!
So, this realization might actually help me winnow the field of possible employers. It has certainly helped me sort through the emotions of the past week.
And for the few new friends I do have who “get me”, I think you know who you are. And I thank you for being such great friends.